As a parent of a now adult child, it is easy to look back and view parenting on a “hindsight being 20/20” basis. One of the greatest gifts we can give is to allow our children to fail and with support, encourage their continued efforts within their own lives. For most of us, watching our children fail brings significant stress; for in failing, consequences surely follow.
If we can hold tight and watch the tide of failure ebb and flow, we can be assured that life is the best teacher and when we don’t rescue, or judge, we make one of the greatest statements of love and that is in demonstrating our belief and confidence in our children, thus providing a critical ingredient that is truly needed in times of stress in their lives.
When we pitch in too much, we can be sending a message which speaks more to the fact that we feel we need to rescue them because we don’t believe in them, and their ability to find ways to improve their lives and fix the problems they create in their lives.
Keeping our children, both young and adult, accountable to their own lives is the one of the greatest gifts of calm and steady love we can give. It is a gift that over time teaches them they are powerful and strong and yes, they can figure this life out. Best wishes to our children as they make their way. There is only one way to success and that is through failing. Let us embrace failure more.